Mads (the 8 year old) was out playing with the neighbor kids who share out back yard when she came in and asked if she could go and meet the new girl that was moving in close by. We said yes and be safe. About 5 minutes later she comes in crying, and (finally) says that the new girl (who is 7) said she didn't like her. She is a tender one. Maybe if she wasn't my kid I would call her wussy or a cry baby but she is my kid so I call her "tender". Anyhow she was very upset about it, so we talked to her and got her convinced to go out and play with her friends (and the new girl) again. About 1 minute later she comes RUNNING in the house hysterically crying and says (we could kinda understand her through the hysterics) that all her friends said they didn't like her and they all ran away when she got close by. OH WOW was I ticked.
I went out and talked to the friends and the parents. Her friends came to out back door to appologize and of course she wouldn't talk to them. I don't want her to get picked on or be left out. She is already the oldest girl in our close neighborhood and older than her years (except for the crying at the mean girls) so I think she feels a bit different already.
So what should I do? How do I get her to not be so emotional and let things not bug her as much or how should I handle the rotten friends? Or just what do I do? I am not old enough for this business. I'm just too little. She's my "thing one" and I want her to always be happy and protected. Mom? Anybody?
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6 comments:
Well, first of all those girls are rotten little stinkers. Second of all, I would call her Primary teacher and let her know so maybe she can gently insert something into the lesson. Thirdly, those girls are rotten little stinkers. Forthly, I would ask the new girl over ALONE to play. For some reason she is asserting her dominance. Maybe this is her way of getting friends by "beating up" on someone who is already there. Will she be one of your Achievement Day girls? You will have a great advantage if she is. Have you talked to her parents? Maddy can come and live with me. I don't do sleepovers but living in is an option.
let little mads know that there is more friends at school and to focus on that. when i grew up there was only one other girl my age in our neighborhood and she was a bully. the kind that wears hightop sneakers with church dresses. she was thick and mean. so i would hang out with my sisters friends, when they'd let me. i really didn't have a lot of friends until junior high, and i made them all through school. i just didn't figure out to do that until 8th grade. mads can figure that out now!
love you much and miss you more.
your absolutely most favorite sister in law
(patty)
Well, first of all those girls are rotten little stinkers. Yes, they are.
Oh, gracious! My heart goes out to you, and to Mads. Brings out the MamaBear, doesn't it? I remember my daughter going through similar experiences and I remember the wrenching feelings that I had. I wanted to do something to make it all better for her, but ultimately, other than just reassuring her, there was not much I could do. These girls were not members of the church, just ornery little neighborhood kids, so there was no help from understanding Primary teachers or Activity Day Leaders.
These are life's lessons for our children. As much as it hurts us to see our tender (yes, she is tender, not a "wuss") little girls hurt, ultimately, these are learning experiences, and our children will emerge more loving and caring and hopefully kinder for having gone through them. Just love her. She'll be ok.
And yes, those girls are rotten little stinkers. Your mother is right. Mothers are always right.
(But, I'll bet before too long, you'll love this "rotten little stinker" and her family, and will look back at this painful episode with a certain amount of wry amusement)
Your story about Maddy's travails made me feel very sad for her. Maddy does have such a sweet and tender spirit. I was upset with her "friends" for being mean to her. I feel so protective of my little niece and wish I were there so I could tell those children what horrible people they are and then maybe tell them stories about monsters who come out from under beds and eat mean children, so they would only need to worry if they are mean... so it sounds like they would need to worry a lot! I hope you will sort this out and come up with good solutions so when Azzy goes through similar things I can call you. By the way, this "Pam" person claims to be your favorite sister in law? Harumph! Well, I will not get too bent out of shape. At least you do play with me!
Lots of love,
Tierney
I'm so sorry. That just plain sucks! I know exactly who those little "stinkers" are. The sad thing is when it is just one of them, they are so sweet, but get them all together and they are so bratty! I was so sad last year when Hayden was having a hard time at school. I think it is almost harder on the mom, because it makes you so sad to see your child sad.
I'm so sorry...hang in there
While you are contemplating what you should do you should blog. It's a good thing.
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